Duly Noted: The Value of the Outsider Who Looks In

By Jarrett in : Duly Noted, Jarrett Hill // Mar 9 2011

Lately, I’ve given more credence than ever before to what people see in me versus that which I see in myself. I’ve asked myself, and subsequently my friends and most anyone that would listen & respond, what value there is in what the world sees in you, that you may be challenged to see in yourself. While it’s not a question that’s directing my life or its decisions, it’s a question that I’ve felt inside more than I can recall in the past.

value |ˈvalyoō | noun

1 the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or preciousness of something

This all started during my tenure aboard the Celebrity Infinity, sailing the ocean blue. While I may not have let on in my social outlets, I knew about a week in that this cruise ship thing was not for me. But, I stuck it out for four and a half months. And the second time I resigned, I actually decided that going home was the good idea. The challenge for me was hearing from many of my colleagues, whose opinions were sometimes solicited, but always mattered to me.

It was confusing to hear, “you’re so perfect for this job,” or things about how great I could be in the positions that were a promotion or two removed from my role at that time. It confused my spirit to feel so clearly opposed to certain things that were available to me, to then be affirmed in my likely success and excellence in those roles, but to be so clear that it wasn’t something that I could happily or sustainably do. The idea of being promoted to Activity Manager and then Cruise Director was really only appealing from the “prestige” that came along with the titles, and maybe the little bit of glitter that they offered as well. But they became decreasingly attractive as I continued to see how much the people in the jobs either didn’t enjoy them, or simply were so bogged down with their roles, the inherent politics, and duties that came along with them, I couldn’t even imagine myself in those positions.

Then, one day I spoke to one of our phenomenal talents onboard the Celebrity Infinity, Maria (you can find her tagged on the left). I told her that I’d been wanting to sing and that watching her and the rest of the singers on the ship do it every night was really tugging at me. So, Maria and I scheduled some time for me to sing for her and see what she thought. We did it, she gave me some great reviews and even better feedback. We started discussing how I could go to school and do some great things with my voice and find a real career in entertainment. It really started the wheels turning for me with serious consideration about what kind of career I could potentially have in theater.

A couple days later, as I’m walking through a port terminal in Valparaiso, Chile, a guy stops me:

“So what do you in the theater?” he asked.

“I’m sorry?” I replied, puzzled.

“I can always spot the entertainers,” he confidently retorted.

I didn’t really know how to respond to that. It was interesting to me that as I was working out in my head how being an entertainer in the theater could work with my goals, someone else already seemed to see it… well… in or on me… or something.

A couple days ago, I was walking down the street in Midtown and saw, in a clothing store window, a shirt that I really loved, so I stopped in to inquire about it. As the sales lady was helping me, she turns to me:

“Are you a singer?”

“A what?” I asked, caught off-guard… again.

“A singer, do you sing? You sound like you have a good singing voice.”

“Uh, I mean… well, a little here and there…” I stumbled.

Yet again, someone I’d never met or interacted with prior to that moment stopped to ask me if I did what was in my head, but hadn’t manifested itself into my reality yet.

Multiple times a week I’ll have a friend, colleague, or a random ask me about my talk show, when it’s getting started, what it’s going to be like, and proceed to tell me just how great they are certain it will be when it’s finally here. Most of the time, I’m caught off-guard when people approach me with these statements, trying to figure out how certain people could be so aware of the things that I daydream about, talk about with other people, or simply believe in my heart I’m destined for.

I’ve heard something to the effect of “you’re gonna be a huge star one day, I’m just waiting for it to happen,” more times than I could ever count. And I believe it; I think I may have said it less times than we’ve seen Whitney Houston perform well in the last decade, but I definitely believe it.

So my question: What value is there in what others see in you, that you may often be challenged to see or acknowledge? And if there be any value at all, what do you do with it?

Hopefully you all have some answers, and of course, I’ll note them, duly.

j.